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Friday, 05 December 2008

  • How Far, How Long

    Its dark and cold.

    I've wandered on this path for a long time now.

    I've tried hard to walk right on the wrong path.

    How long you stupid fool?

    How far you stubborn child?

    It seems I can't let go.

    It will only keep going if I continue on.

    Darker.

    Colder.

    My vision is clouded.

    Silence throbs in my ears.

    A bitter taste lingers in my mouth.

    The stench of death is my perfume.

    Every step is winced out in pain.

    How far and how long till I've had my fill?

     

    You prideful wretch, you have been given all things, yet you still won't partake?

     

    My heart is breaking.

    My soul is exhausted.

    I'm tired of this pointless life.

     

    Jesus, I need You.

    With out You, I have no meaning.

    When You aren't there with me, I only stumble in the dark.

    Lead me on the straight and narrow.

    Lord, I Need You.

     

    May I leave it in the grave You placed it in.

    Never to carry it again.

     

    Not my will, but Your Will Be Done.

    Amen.

     

Sunday, 02 November 2008

  • Rope and Chains.

    My hushed voice has whispered its protest. 

    More than likely, you have never even heard of the man I voted for. 


    Vote wisely, brothers and sisters. 

    A government big enough to give you everything you want is big enough to take everything you have away... hope and change, indeed...

     

    Hope only in Christ. Only in His Love is there Change.

    -Jonathan

     

Thursday, 23 October 2008

Monday, 29 September 2008

  • Dear Diary... er... Journal

    A blog, that a sister in Christ wrote today, about her old diary brought to mind an experience I had with my journal.

     

    Once, about a year or so ago, I happened to dig up my old prayer journal as I was rummaging through a box of my old stuff.

    It was one I started way back in 1998.

    I flipped through the little composition journal and casually skimmed through the pages. Bad hand writing and childish prayers. Small drawings and increasingly less frequent entries. I reached the first entry of the year 2000. It was so childish and shallow in its prayers but it came from an innocent heart. I was barely 13.

    The one thing that struck me in this entry was the line:

    "I love you Lord and let this year be a year to remember."

    Little did I know how that year would sear itself into my mind and life.

    There wasn't another entry until the next year. It was still lacking a lot of depth yet there was more wisdom and experience in the words. Whispers of His Voice already beginning to be heard. Our family had already gone through many refining fires. More and more the waves smashed against us. More and more it took wore away our family and its strength. So, even in just one year I had seen a lot.

    The next entry was 3 painful years later...

    As I read this entry, the emotions and memories of all that time flooded into my mind. The pain and sorrow of the fires and the flood waters of this earth poured through me. I felt their bite all over again. I felt the loneliness and isolation of our time of trial. I saw our family strength come to the very brink and peer over the edge. I saw the tears and anguish of all this hard path beating down on us as a storm. We had lost all that we had. Then, I watched how it had all faded and dimmed as this old world and it's master lost their grip on me. 

    He had Come into my life.

    I began to cry.

    The person writing down the last entry in this journal was someone else. It was no longer the lost vagabond but a Child who found His Worth. It was filled with the warmth and love of a life with the Father. No longer an empty childish prayer to someone I heard of, it was now a Love Note to my Dearest.

    As, I sat crying, I saw His Hand in my life. As a shepard seeks after his lost sheep so He had He Sought me out. He bent the earth around and caused the loss of all that I was to show me who I Am In Him. I still believe to this day! That if it meant He had to rend the earth in two to finally have me See, He would Have.

    Broken and Humbled by His All Encompassing Love, I closed the journal.

     

    His Hand is in all our lives. Ask for Him and you shall not go wanting. Be true to Him and yourself and you will not find falsehood. Listen and you will Hear. He Is There. Open the door and see for yourself.

    Love, Peace and Grace to you all, brothers and sisters.

    -Jonathan

     

    P.S. Here is the inspirer of this blog's blog. http://weblog.xanga.com/uknowatreebyfruit  Read her stuff. It is, by far, more eloquent and coherent than mine. It will do you good!

     

Saturday, 19 July 2008

  • Is He?

    I have just finished three days of intensive Wisdom.

    7pm-10pm Thursday night, 9am-10pm Friday and 9am-6pm today have been jammed packed with some of the most powerful and convicting messages you can ever hear.

    One sermon was such a slam to my soul, that when we prayed at the end I fell to my knees in wonderful release. As I surrendered all of these things that make up my "life", I felt that light dawn upon me again. I felt that sweet relief. Why had I taken it back up? Why was I living for myself again? Why!?

    Praise the Lord! He IS! And He Is All Powerful! Its all in His Hands!

    It was exactly what I needed. I had lost sight of these things. I had been living my life for me. Foolish me! thinking that I could carry it all! I had lost sight of Who He Is!

    GOD! That IS WHO HE IS!!! THE LORD GOD ALMIGHTY!!

    To think that I had thought myself well capable of being god... I had so much pride and didn't even know it. I had forsaken the narrow for the broad.

    So, seeing how much I had been living for myself, I repulsed in disgust. How could I!? What A FOOL!! I surrendered all that I have and all that I am back to Him. And I still surrender it. (It is all Yours Father) Knowing that there is nothing outside of Him! Praise YHWH!

     

    Now, having said that, lets turn it around. Ask yourself... 

    Am I living my life completely surrendered to God?

    Do I see that everything that I have is ultimately His?

    Do I see that what I own, what I eat and where I sleep is also His?

    Do I see that everything that I am, all of my being, my very essence, is His?

    Is He my God?

    Is He?

     

    Or are you living your life for yourself? Are you using the very talents the Lord gave you for self gain and not giving them as freely as they were given you? Do you still think they are yours to use as you want anyway? What makes you think that you have to provide for yourself anyway? Are you still so foolish to think that you can't give all away and still have everything? Are you wandering around searching for the next flight of fancy instead of waiting on the Lord? Are you pursuing ministries that the Lord never wanted you to be a part of? Are you still not waiting on Him? Do you still completely under cut His Power by thinking you have to go and do? Do you still limit Him and bind Him to your small way of thinking? Do you still not see that He Is well capable of handling your life without you?

    HE IS LORD!! See this and LET GO!

    He who has ears let him hear!!

     

    He Is God! You are NOT!! Give all away and gain everything! Starve and Be Filled! Thirst and be Quenched! Die and Live!

    Its time brothers and sisters to lay it all down and let go of the things we think we need to do or have...

    Only then can we truly walk by Faith.

    Aren't you dying to Live?

    Then give it all UP!

     

     

    You are blessed and you are lacking nothing! Let go and Let GOD!

    -Jonathan

     

elattoo

  • Visit elattoo's Xanga Site
    • Name: Jonathan
    • Birthday: 7/24/1986
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 6/11/2007